What to do??

What to do????

I don't think there is much I can do..so where to start??

My dad drinks. Has been drinking more since my parents moved closer to me. They used to live on a property and he always had much to do to keep himself busy. Then he had a very nasty burn accident and they moved. He was ok for awhile..busy with the move and settling in.. Now he is bored..not much interest in things..drinks after their lunch..( 11am) and thats pretty much it for the day..napping ..a little work.. He doesn't sleep well at night..so he naps in the day..won't see a doctor for anything much..I know his back and knees are hurting but he won't say much.

He likes to come over to my house and mow and do some odd jobs. I let him as he likes it. Lately he has been stressing over Nics attempt at a bulb garden..Unfortunately the grass keeps coming through from our neighbours. It is now a grass garden with bulbs. He suggested we use pots and cement or plastic underneath. I said..OK but won't do it until I have pots and potting mix and such.

He turned up Friday to mow and pick Nicolle up for work. They came late avo ( for them- 1pm) so they might see me when I got home from work. He lasted 20 mins before having an argument with Nic about mowing over the garden and poisoning the whole lot and he would buy her new plants.

I have gone over Sat avo to pick Nic up, have dinner and then go to the drive -in with the kids. Dad wanted to talk. He was agitated. He became very upset because I said NO he couldn't mow the garden. ( He hates the fact it is messy and is out the front of our house) he said he understood I had my life but his knees were hurting and he couldn't weed much for me. I said it was ok I was getting my neighbour to use his whipper snipper for me. He went ballistic!! He threw his beer and glass. Pushed mum out of the way.

He has never touched my mother nor done that before. I was angry. I went to him and told him off. He apologised and said sorry but he couldn't help it. He went to bed. Just before I left..he told me he was sorry but couldn't help it but to make sure I would be there for mum and look after her. I said , what? He said , he wouldn't be around much longer and would I please look after mum.

I was shocked, angry. I said 'bloody well stop it' He just looked at me. and repeated for me to look after mum.

Mum asked if I was ok. I didn't tell her what he said. How could I? we were leaving.

I believe he is drinking too much. I don't think he is ok mentally at the moment. I tried to ring my sister. she was camping again. Kids at home. She doesn't like Dad much so I don't know how much support she will be any way.

He has gone through periods before where he goes on and on about dying. what to do..what not to do. He told me he was angry last year when a friend of his took his own life. he was angry because he didn't tell him how to do it too. He is scared of being old and in a nursing home like his mother was but he is only 77. Thats not too old. He has told me he does not want to be resuscitated if in hospital.

I don't want my mum to worry..she was already apologising for his behaviour. she said he has been down lately. She seems abit detached from him lately too.

I am going to go back over soon. I have to talk to him..in the morning when he is at his best . I feel like he must not feel needed or something. I feel angry at him for even saying this to me. ( even though I understand that at times I am the only one he can talk too about anything. we are fairly close. I know it annoys my mum at times)