Memories

So I received an email saying Bigblog is shutting down. Had a chuckle as I never really thought of it as a still going concern. logged on and all my history was still there! Went to put a post up and wouldn't you know it, doesn't work..nothing much has changed.
so maybe I will start again ..took my 1/2 hour to remember my user name and password for here.

QLD

Our trip to QLD to visit grandparents for kids was great. We only saw their grandfather as they are separated. As he has had a stroke, I didn't want to add any drama by asking to see their grandmother as they do have alot of drama already without adding to it. He gets stressed whenever she just rocks on up to their place.

They spoilt us rotten..has been hard this morning getting up early to get kids off to school. I go back to work tomorrow

They live 1hour from Brisbane and approx 20 mins from Surfers. it was approx 30oC each day and was just fine.

WetnWild at the end of the day.

We ended up going to see the 3 parks in a package deal, Seaworld, WetnWild and Movie World. We just hung around going for walks along the many pathways along the water , kids played in the park (all the parks up there are brilliant for kids) and they even had a swim on the beach near the park. It was just relaxing. The kids also swam in their pool each day as they were just as happy to do that.

they even have exercise equipment along the walk ways for the public to use!!

everytime I turned my phone on ..I received so many messages saying missed call or you ****** why won't you let me talk to my daughter?? from the EX..The other half ( grandfathers new partner)ended up telling him to behave and had Miss 10 ring him each night at set time to stop him ringing..stopped after 3 days. He was angry as on the way up he was ringing contstantly but on the train there was no reception and I didn't recieve any of the calls!! He didn't even wait for us to arrived there to call him to say..hey arrived safely!! Which I had told him we would! anyway..

It was just the best time..I even went on rides with son ..I don't normally do rides but he couldn't go on some at wetnwild byhimself and Miss 10 wouldn't go on them. She thought it was hillarious as I did scream on some of them!! I only refused one,as when we got to the top I looked down and just couldn't do it.. he said I was white!! luckilythere was another mum there desparetely trying to convince her 6yr old to go on it..so I let her borrow my son!!

we have been invited to go back up so I told kids I will save up again to see some more parks next time.

Ex turned up not long after we arrived home. He and son started arguing. He tried to egg son on to hit him. I shall have to really watch him as I truly believe he is trying to get son to do this so he can lay charges on him. So good to be home..lol..

honestly if it was a bit cheaper up there I think we would move..

time to go

well it is certainly autumn here at moment..cooler breezers..much cooler nights and rain , rain and more rain.

GF from QLD rang..it is sunny and warm...much as I don't really like hot weather..I am certainly looking forward to some warmer weather..

have almost finished packing except for few things to add this avo..Miss 10 keeps adding more clothes ..I keep removing them..we have 2 suitcases..which I don't think is too bad for 3 of us..15yr old says..I go to my mates house with 2 outfits for week you know..( yes..but we dont' want smelly teenager this time ..I say)..I am also taking some favourite staples of kids..like MILO so they will be right when we arrive.. won't have to worry about return trip as they will be all gone..much lighter..but still under my weight limit for travel requirements.

Ex picked up Miss 10 on Saturday..home Sunday ( much to 15yr old's relief ..he kept asking me what if ex takes her and doesn't return her to spoil trip)..she is cranky..she asked him for a DS game and he laybyed it telling her to tell me to get it out for QLD trip.. I said no..

I told her ..I don't just buy games and stuff because you want them..so she goes to EX..He stupidly tries to fob her off this way..instead of just saying NO....now he rings and says I am lettng her down..OMG..on it goes..

I can't wait to go..to get away from here. I am still slightly unsure as never been there but this will be good..even if I leave kids there permantly!!LOL..they are driving me nuts..they are just anxious to go ..waiting..is never fun ..but honestly they are horrible..especially miss 10yr old .she is awful with her attitude/rudeness..shall I go on??LOL.

So house is clean..animals sorted..least I hope so..( with Nic ..who doesn't like them that much??) mum and dad are set to arrive this avo and take us to Station..back next Wednesday week..

4 days to go

well 4 days to go before I take the youngest 2 off to QLD..woohoo..am so looking forward to it.

Ex has tried to have inlaws not have us but how he seriously thought that would work is beyond me..Believe he may be extra annoyed lately due to my new CSA payment amount I just received..it has increased.

doing something like this will be good for all of us..Nic is looking forward to having house to self..she is seriously super touchy at moment, especially to youngest sister. ( she does have many assignments due)

I gave eldest son a key so he can come and go..as he pleases..might encourage him to come here when he is having trouble with ex..prob not but worth a try..just last week..they had another blow out and he took off for the week ..Ex rang me finally on the Thursday to ask if I knew where he was?? son left on the sunday night??

I normally like to have things arranged somewhat and know what to expect and what is going to happen so goind to my inlaws and just playing it as it comes will be good for me. I need to relax. I will be turning my mobile off, though I know Ex will ring inlaws constantly but GF won't get in our face about talking to him or relaying messages so will be like dropping off the radar for once!!

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

Ashlee Simpson has a song called Get out of my head..it is very apt for me right now..

I am so annoyed with myself..should have kept my mouth shut..

Ex turns up with Miss 10 at approx 12 noon unannounced..is taking her to the footy..she needs things from here..I ask when was he going to ask me if this was ok??

He says we won't be long and besides didn't she tell you?

I say..she shouldn't be the one telling me..you need to ask as you will be home late..and what time can I expect her home?

He can't tell me except to say..Hey..we decided we have an open arrangement now with the kids.

I say..NO we don't..I agreed not to increase child support to correct value and you agreed to allow miss 10 not to have to go to your house if she really doesn't want too. that was it.

he says..hey I don't mind..I will go back to court ..you will lose.

I say..Ok then..I am absolutely fine with that idea.

He says..I am going to ring my parents..they don't want you to visit them. what gave you the idea you could stay with them anyhow..they don't want you..they only want to see the kids..you are this and that and this and that.

I say ..get over it and go inside.

I shut the door.

he continues to yell .

I ask him to remove himself from my verandah. He just responds with negative comments.

Master 15 yr old tells him off.

his father says..get out here and say it.

son ignores me and goes outside and repeats everything.

Father abuses son..

Miss 10 yr old starts yelling inthe background.

I tell both son and father to stop.

Ex then says I'm ringing my Dad and telling him what you are really like. I am their father and I can see my kids when I want.

I say..you are not a father..

He stops and looks at me.

I continue..you are only a biological sperm donor..

Oh my gawd.. 'He says..she says.'. I have to stop opening my mouth ..he is not worth it. and it so not worth the kids getting an earful of all this..

I feel sick to my stomach..when he was on the verandah yelling at me..I felt so nervous again. I need to be over this..why do I allow this man to still intiminate me?

Fed up

My house sucks..I know this..it is a crappy too small house but it is our house.

It gets me down occasionally because we don't have room to move at times. I get over it though and be thankful for knowing we don't have to worry about moving any time soon.

When my kids start having a go at me about the house though, it affects me differently. Hell I know the faults of this house better than they will ever know. Throwing it in my face, like its all my fault is a kick in the guts.

They are being very selfish at the moment..everything is about them..I want this..I want that..I want my friends over, take me to my friends, help me with this because I left it to the very last minute..'I do everything around this place '( like taking the garbage out once a week if I am lucky) and killing each other every chance they have.

I am over it.

I have asked them to make sure they do the little things to keep on top of things..they can't even manage this.

If I ask them to do something..I am asking the world..

then my 15yr old son throws the trump card..'you do know know ..big brother only comes here to use the internet ..its not like he wants to be here you know..' Ouch..thanks son..

I don't want them to grovel and be thankful for every little thing I do..it just hurts listening to them complain about they way we live, when I am doing the best I can.

Son

way to feel old

tonight I took the kids to the local shopping centre to see a local high school band, Power Age. One of the band members is in my eldest sons year at school. they recently came 2nd in London at a youth band competition.

Well I was deafened and way to feel old!!..the music, while not really my thing was good and the vocals were excellent.. they are defintitely on their way up.

Miss 10, managed to get herself in a mini mosh pit and was happy enough,until some guy behind her kept yelling, Nipple!! until the lead singer replied the same..he was also lifting his shirt and she was not happy about that! She moved back around the side with her brother and friends.

My son got himself a CD signed.

Well bigpond service phone help line did well tonight. I finally worked out a ADSL WIFI connection so Nicolle can access the internet from her computer and not pay for it from home. Of course when it arrived, I followed the step by step instructions but it didn't work.

Turned out the family safeware program I had on, was blocking it from working , so it has gone by the wayside.

the computer even appears to be slightly faster.maybe My over tired imagination working overtime but who cares!

so how is the pond..is it working yet?