The ol' Christmas tree is up

Well my old wonky tree is up and should last another year..I just don't know..it seems since EX left ..the putting up of the tree isn't much fun anymore.. and I am NOT saying that because he is not here..oh NO..its actually the kids..they fight..plain and simple..Again this year..

It has been a great avo..I cooked a really nice dinner..we all sat down to eat.the kids and I were talking and having fun. 8 yr old doesn't want to eat anymore and wants to leave table ..so I tell her to sit in lounge room while we eat..Then she keeps coming in trying to get everyones attention. I tell her to sit and eat or leave. She leaves. This goes on for awhile before she decides to eat again. I ask Big brother (16 yr old) to take the dog out and lock him up for night..( we had storms and I had let him in) He gathers some scraps onto a fork and everyone is laughing at his antics and 8 yr old says something smart at him and he replies..well it wouldn't be funny if it landed on your head!! Sure enough..completely accidentally..it lands on her head. We can't help but laugh..then she starts..and I mean STARTS SCREAMING..like she is being murdered. It gets higher and louder. I go to pick her up to help clean her up..but she takes off screaming and thows herself on the floor..my ears are ringing from her screams. I pick her up and put her in her room. She is screaming at me not caring.This goes on for 1/2 hour!!!!!!!!!!

Finally after a group talk and hugs all round ..we put the decorations on the tree. when we were nearly finished..16 yr old said something fairly harmless to 13 yr old brother. the next minute 13 yr old is hitting his brother.

Much later..after youner two are in bed...I put a DVD on for older 2 and me to watch..16 rold throws a cushion at his sister and hits her in the eye!! she starts swearing.. and storms off.

THen EX turns up. He starts yelling at 16 yr old. Younger two come out to see what is going on. 16 yr old want to go to soccer match with friends Friday night but is working until 3 pm and bus leaves 4.30 a fair distance away..EX is ranting he can't get there..Son says he will catch train and bus..EX doesn't want him too and thinks he would n't make it anyhow..OMG..on and on and on..

Later..after EX has left..8 yr old comes out crying because she thinks no one likes her father.. she is sobbing..

I am exhausted mentally.. I have been trying to give all the kids attention..youngest two are saying I ignore them. My mum rang me up saying 13 yr old had been talking to her and when she was here last..13 yr old came inwhile we were talking and I did ignore him and told him to go away. ( I am thinking if he interupted..I would have told him off) She thinks I am treating him harshly because He reminds me of EX..

Now I don't feel I can talk to my mum..she doesn't even know the half of it..of how 13 yr old can be at times..and what I ignore.

I have an interview to go too next Monday.. I wil miss school presentation..I have to work on my older sons presentation.. Nic said she would go but won't sit with her father . I told mum and she said she would try to go too..but went quiet when I said about not sitting with EX..Nic said she seems to be annoyed with her for not talking to her father.

Reading this alot seems to pivot around 16 old son and it prob does..he wants to go home to his fathers but tonight again..EX said I have had you..come and get your stuff but then left..It s an adjustment..