CSA

My Ex rang my home today. Our eldest daughter (19) answered the phone. She rang me, upset as he was yelling at her, demanding to know where I was. She hung up. He rang again but she let it go to the msg bank.

He rang my mobile. I missed it. I was at work in a meeting. I texted him and told him to either text or leave a msg on my 101 service at home.
He texted back. He now has to pay child support directly from his wage plus arrears owing. He is not happy.

He tells me in the msg that our son who lives with him is the one being hurt.

He rings when I am home this afternoon. He is definitely not happy. He tells me our son will have to come and live with me..he will quit his job..he will move..He said he will tell them how I am working 'full' time and receiving the pension. ( I told him that the CSA have all my details, not that what he said is correct anyhow)

I tell him to stop being a bully by trying to use emotional blackmail on me. I tell him I would love for our son to move back in.

He tells me he can't afford to live. He tells me how much he supposedly receives net a week.( I say 'supposedly' as he lies often) I tell him he is not going too bad compared to my weekly net pay with 3 children to support.
Bottom line he wants me to ring CSA and tell them I do not want the arrears payments. Or I that I believe he cannot live paying this much and should pay less per week.

I have never complained to CSA when he was working cash in hand nor have I rang to demand payment. It is the natural progression of their system that has caught up with him. I am not saying that the system is fair and just for all. I am aware it doesn't always work.

I feel my son suffers anyhow, living with him. He will no doubt hear about about how 'bad done by' his father is by me now too.

He is always ringing me to 'fix' things. If it is not our son then its something else. I don't have to anymore. I am divorced.

Part of me wants to say tough..the other part thinks well he is stupid when it comes to handling finances and maybe a bit less per week might be ok..whether or not CSA listen to me or not???

I am very annoyed that he stills ( and will continue) to blame me for his woes.